Still Trying

After a few weeks back up in Ohio for the Thanksgiving holiday, me and the kids are back here in Fort Bragg aka Home Sweet Home. And just trying to make it work, as usual. I have left the house twice since we got in Friday night. We went to the commissary once (my own version of hell basically) and to the beloved Bed, Bath and Beyond today. Not too exciting. So basically I don't have too much to report.

I missed an opportunity yesterday morning to chat with Gunnar on Facebook. I have mobile alerts set up so if he is on and sends me a message, it will go to my phone, I can hop online and we can have a chat. This opportunity is quite rare and relying on electronic communication is always a little sketchy. Anyway, there was some sort of a delay in the electronic universe and by the time I knew he was online, his time on the computer was like 14 seconds away from being up. So I cried for a long time. It seemed like a long time anyway. I can't really handle the idea of missing a chance to hear from him in any sense of the word. I obsessively check my phone constantly to make sure it's on, the volume is up, it's fully charged etc. If I wasn't neurotic enough before this deployment, I certainly will be by the end of next summer.

Gunnar was able to call a few hours later. I might have mentioned before that we definitely always keep our conversations light and funny as all hell. It's great stress relief for both of us. I for one, am the world's biggest, most frequent cryer, so it's an accomplishment for me to not have a breakdown the second I hear his voice. All the strength in the world couldn't stop the water works yesterday though and poor Gunnar had to listen to me sobbing, making likely zero sense till I calmed down enough to have an actual conversation. Talk about a waste of some very expensive international calling card minutes!! It was, as always wonderful to hear him though. He is still doing really well. His platoon is very active and that worries the shit out of me constantly but they are all very capable soldiers. They seem to get called in any time any one needs some extra umph. I cannot for one second imagine what it's like to have people actually shooting at me. That's the kind of thing they are going through every day too. It's too hard to understand what any of it is really all about either. I gave up trying.

All we can really do is hope every last one of those soldiers comes back healthy.